A Different Kind of Love

Devotional Video
Mt. 5:43-47

Perhaps its Time to Push Pause

Since the cataclysmic shift in our culture I have spent more time on Facebook than I did previously. I've invested time in other activities as well, but social media has become a source of entertainment and information. It also gives me a sense of connection with friends, which is sorely missing during social isolation. Or at least I tell myself it is a way of connecting.

Here are a few things I've noticed have increased in my News Feed over the last month:

1. Funny Stuff - people have really stepped up their humor game during this pandemic. Nothing like forced isolation and 24/7 news about a virus to bring out the laughs. I have literally "Laughed Out Loud" at least once a day for the past month and it has been a enjoyable.

"A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." Proverbs 17:22 

2. Pictures of Food - it seems more people must be cooking at home. So as a way to celebrate I think they are sharing the evidence of their culinary creations with the world. Perhaps if a recipe was included that would make the sharing of these food pics more useful. Just a suggestion.

3. Negative and vitriolic statements aimed at "those people" - Can we just push pause?! The name calling, the blaming and shaming, it's just too much. With my diverse "friend" group I see both sides, one right after another. If it weren't so sad and divisive, it would almost be laughable. Two seemingly intelligent human beings, looking at the same scenario, and finding an exact opposite perspective. No common ground, just a line in the sand. No gray, just black or white. Very little compassion or humility or sensitivity, just arrogance and defensiveness.

The truth is, we will see things differently and that's okay. It doesn't have to turn into a shouting match that must be won at all costs. In the midst of severe change in our lives we can get testy and "cabin fever" is probably a factor. But that's really no excuse. Western society feeds the dualistic thinking that creates division and the desire to be on the right side of an argument seems to be woven into the fabric of America. However, it doesn't have to be that way. What if we were open to hearing insights from those with whom we disagree? What if its not This or That, but we were willing to consider a third way? What if we valued the souls of others more than being right?

"A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Proverbs 15:1

I doubt my words will affect much change. But I would like to think my voice could be heard above the hateful noise. Perhaps I will raise awareness and someone will pause before they post an unhelpful accusation, attack or inflammatory statement. It wouldn't be the worst thing if all of us just put the devices down for 24-48 hours. Who knows, maybe there are better ways to spend our time? I understand there is a wonderful TV show about tigers that seems to be quite a hit.

Learning to be Present

In September 2011 I experienced a wonderful weekend retreat called Men At The Cross. During the weekend I was challenged with a fresh perspective of God and his grace. Through the ministry of MATC I have continued to learn, grow and forge deep relationships with strong, godly men. These men have encouraged me to walk in the light of Christ's love and to rest in the truth about who I am as a beloved son of God. I am learning concepts that are not merely filling my head with knowledge, but are strengthening my heart, my ability to love God and others well.

One of the concepts that has greatly impacted my relationships is the idea of being "present" with others. In conversations I am often eager to share my opinions or offer advice. While some of my friends and family come to me with questions, most of the time they just want to be heard and loved. I'm aware that I love others well when I listen without trying to fix them.

"Whoever restrains his words has knowledge..." Proverbs 17:27

There is an article entitled, "Being Present to Others" posted on the Men At The Cross blog. You can read it here. Contained in the article are some excellent insights that may help you grow as a listener. I'm convinced that listening is a lost art in our modern culture. Take a few minutes to read the article and perhaps you will be challenged to listen differently - and to love better.

When Change Comes To Church

Empty sanctuary behind me. Pondering the new stuff.

I will never forget sitting in a meeting with leaders of a church and hearing a man say, "If it involves change, I'm against it!" That was nearly 20 years ago and thankfully that congregation is still faithfully serving their community. And they have made changes.

Today, March 19, 2020, I am sitting in the middle of a bunch of changes. All of us are. Some more severe than others, but we are all shaken. There is a virus spreading across the globe. It really doesn't matter if you agree with how things are being handled, decisions are being made that impact everyone. Change is happening. There is no "business as usual" for anyone. At least for the next several weeks, things are going to be different. And as a pastor that means change has come to how we do church.

First, some context.
Americans are not accustomed to having the government tell us what to do and when to do it. We don't respond well to that sort of thing. I understand. It is part of the fabric of our nation - the land of liberty. The notion that a government official would suggest that we stay in our homes, cancel our public gatherings and close down our businesses smacks of tyranny.

Add to that, for many Christians, the idea of staying home from a church gathering is just behind adultery on the list of "Thou shall nots!" Again, I get it. Gathering in community for worship is an important aspect of living out our faith. And when we gather we enjoy the kindred fellowship. We shake hands, and of course every congregation has those who want to hug everyone. We pass around offering plates. We share the elements of communion. We stand side by side and boldly sing gospel truth. Faith traditions and deeply spiritual rituals are difficult to simply give up overnight.

Where does that leave us? 
We can embrace doing things differently, or we can push back. We can welcome new ways of accomplishing ministry, or we can bristle at the mention of these suggestions and resist.

What would it look like if we trusted God and welcomed everything that he brought across our path? What if we stepped out of our comfort zone with an attitude of curiosity, believing that God has something good for us even in the hard things?

Let's not pretend that this is not an emotional storm on many levels. I've been anxious in the midst of all this stuff. Fearful at times. I don't usually handle change well. I enjoy being comfortable. However, I have become aware that resisting usually leads to more frustration and can even do damage to myself and others. So, my aim is to be more open and to welcome what comes with each new day. I'm praying for courage and wisdom. And, I'm willing to trust that there are blessings around this corner of uncertainty. As a dear friend of mine often says, "A change is as good as a holiday!"

Let me add, I realize there are different levels of impact with the changes sweeping through our nation. Thousands of people are getting sick and some are even dying from this virus. Additionally, many people are going to suffer near financial ruin as a result of closures and cancellations. My comments are not intended to minimize those dire circumstances or dismiss those who are truly suffering, as if adjusting a church schedule is comparable. I pray that we will all experience God's peace and presence, moment by moment.

Finding Freedom in Saying Yes

I have received blessings and benefits from God's promises because of Jesus, as a result of God's grace. Not because I've accomplished something, not through my timely actions or clever insights.

God says "Yes" to me because he said "Yes" to Jesus.

Will I say Yes to God today? That is the question. Will I say Yes to his love, yes to his presence, yes to his power - surrendering, trusting, receiving?

Then, will I say Yes to others? Its risky. Will I take the risk and be open? Will I live loving and embracing, not striving or defending? Not trying to prove myself or my worth.

Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes will lead us to experience Grace + Love + Presence, with God and others. Saying Yes will lead us to freedom. Freedom from performing, judging, comparing, hiding.

In this moment, which is all that I have, I will say Yes to God and those he brings my way.

Awareness of Your True Identity

Who Are You...Really?

In August 1983 I was an incoming freshman attending orientation at Fairmont State. There was a process to put all the kids at orientation into groups so that we could connect with one another. Imagine about 250 college freshman in a parking lot, each one yelling out their birth month: "August!" "November!" "January!" and so on, over and over. And in my case, "March!" The goal was for everyone to find their birth-month-group. Eventually it worked. After being divided into these twelve groups we did all sorts of games and activities. So, there I was in my group, with dozens of other people, from many different places, guys and girls, and all sharing one thing...we were all born in the month of March. Really? Is that it? Is that all I am? Is that who I am? I'm March! Honestly, that's a bit of a let down.

Many of us in Western society are being put, or putting ourselves, into groups. Categories. Boxes. Tribes, if you prefer buzzwords. Usually this is based on some aspect of our lives. Examples include gender, political affiliation, skin color, sexual preference, religion and on and on it goes. And we are being led to believe that the label on that category is what defines us. That group might become our identity and we might begin to live out of that place, as if that is all there is to who we are.

"Madison Avenue" utilizes these categories to send us targeted advertising. Candidates for elected office use these categories in their talking points. Journalists include these group labels in headlines to grab our attention.

The problem with all of this is that slowly we are being reduced to one small facet of our personhood, and this diminishes who we truly are. Additionally, it creates division. These categories that we embrace can separate us, and over time we may perceive hard lines and barriers between one another. It becomes "Us" and "Them."

In the U.S. the earliest leaders of this nation wrote about the equality of our citizenry. Nearly 200 years later, Martin Luther King Jr. spoke about his dream, and it did not include these categories, but rather the commonality of character that could rally us all. These are but two examples of an ideal, an essential way of living together. But, because we are imperfect beings, we have missed the mark at times. However, missing the mark does not mean we stop trying to move towards the very worthy goal.

At our core, we are human beings made "in the image of God." It is this core truth that gives every person value, that which unites us all, and ultimately that which provides our true identity. Regardless of any other traits, habits or affiliations, we are all so much more than those various categories or labels. The essence of every person on this planet is the same, and that ought to center us, free us, and allow for connection with others. It ought to inspire us to unity, not division.

Certainly, there are things that make us different and individual. The most profound is your fingerprints. Something uniquely yours. Additionally, we don't all sound the same, look exactly the same, enjoy the same activities or think exactly alike on issues. But those differences do not define our core identity which is something greater, something shared by all - our humanity.

There is something deeper still. It is, in fact, the deepest of all things because it stems from our spiritual connection to the One who created us in His image. God created us for relationship, with one another as human beings, but more importantly relationship with Him. Jesus Christ took on humanity in part to demonstrate God's desire to connect with us in relationship. As we embrace and follow Jesus, we enjoy genuine love, authentic forgiveness, lasting peace and a host of other things. What makes those things so special is that they are from God, and therefore they are perfect and unable to be found anywhere else. And through our relationship with him, we are able to beautifully reflect those special gifts to others.

As human beings, made in God's image, every single person has value. We can not ultimately find that value by identifying with a particular group. And we don't have to, because we already have it. And likewise, so does everyone else. The question is, will we value one another or will we continue to separate ourselves in ways that diminish who we are as human beings?

When Every Day is Sunday

My mother-in-law has lived with us for the past year. She is also living with dementia. It is such a difficult disease that robs one of memory for sure, but also so much more. Over the last year I have often said, "Every day is a different day," which has multiple meanings from my perspective. Each day brings different challenges, surprises and awareness. At one level, we never know what to expect day to day as a family experiencing dementia together. However, in contrast, there is also a level of sameness that comes along with the disease.

Often a person living with dementia will give the same response to common questions. They often tell the same stories. Sometimes they ask the same questions. One of the regular questions we get from "Mommaw" is, "What day is this?" That is the most important question for her.

She gets up every day and gets dressed. Nearly every day she puts on a dress, the way she would if she were going to church. Very quickly she wants to determine what day it is, mainly (I believe) because she is hoping it is Sunday. You see, for her, Sunday is the best day. It is the day she knows where she will be and what she will be doing. It is the day she goes to church, the day she sings, the day she enjoys the fellowship of a community also engaging in worship. While many things have changed in her world over the last several years, her desire to worship Jesus with a congregation has not faded. When the answer to her question is, "Today is Sunday," there is a noticeable shift in her demeanor. It seems like she lives as if every day is Sunday. What a great lesson for me.

What if I approached every day eagerly anticipating the opportunity to worship? What might be different about my life if I lived with laser focus, hoping to experience the presence of God? What if I forgot about all the things that distract me from the goal of living out my faith and engaging with others? The truth is, every day is an opportunity to worship God and enjoy his presence. In fact, every moment is an opportunity to experience his grace. Because of Jesus, I am always connected to God's power and love. Sadly, my life can become full of distractions, busyness and unhealthy ways of living that keep me from enjoying God's presence. I can forget that his "mercies are new every morning." Even as a pastor, engaged in regular ministry, these struggles are real. [Eek, hope I didn't burst your bubble...every pastor is a human being...with flaws, and prone to struggles, just like yours!]

But thankfully, my lapses in memory and faithfulness never diminish God's love for me. God is always for me, day by day and moment by moment. And I am always welcomed into fellowship with him.