Who Gives This Woman?

Two months ago I was asked that question: "Who gives this woman into the care of this man?" Of course I responded as I was supposed to respond, "Her mother and I" (with a little lump in my throat). And with that, a peck on her cheek and the rest of the ceremony, my daughter was married. It was a blessed and joyful day of celebration!

And it all went so fast: the walk down the aisle, the ceremony...but especially the last twenty two years! How is it possible that the little girl I rocked to sleep is now a married woman, a college graduate, working fulltime, paying bills and all of that? 

I'm extremely happy for her and her husband, who is a wonderful young man! They are both special people. They are well grounded and mature. They are quite suited to one another. I am joyful and excited for what the future holds for them as they begin this journey of marriage. But, as the reality of this starts to sink in, I am experiencing other emotions too. It is very quiet at our house. Her room is dark. Her chair at the dinner table is empty. Her car isn't parked in the driveway. We don't see her very often. There is a subtle layer of sadness connected to these things.

How is it possible to be joyful and sad at the same time?

My wife and I are heading into our 25th year of marriage. I know what marriage is like. All of it. While we have enjoyed a wonderful marriage, there have been hard times too. People are people, they come with all sorts of "junk" and are not always easy to live with. I realize my daughter will deal with her fair share of struggle. Something inside of me wants to protect her from it. So, amid the joy and sadness, there is also a bit of anxiousness for the inevitable difficult times the newlyweds will encounter. However, it is her life to live...and enjoy and hurt and grow.

Emotions, which are gifts from God, are curious things. They are not meant to be avoided or disregarded. All of our emotions, the hard and the pleasurable, are intended from our Creator to be felt and they can "be our teachers." Part of the process of feeling those emotions is expressing them with trusted others.  Moreover, we can ask ourselves why we are feeling these things and take time to consider some deeper things behind them. I've done that privately. With this blog post I am sharing openly with you too, along with this offering: Don't run from your emotions, feel them. Be inquisitive about the reasons behind them. Allow God to use them to teach you what He is like and what is in the depths of your own heart.